Personal Stories
The stories here were written by members of our PFLAG South/Central Rhode Island chapter at various points in their own family’s “coming out” process. Most of the essays have been published elsewhere and are provided here as reprints. If you have a personal story you’re ready to tell, please contact us. We’d love to add it here.
Stories of Hope
Read user-submitted stories or submit your own story.
Articles
- The Accidental Activist
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance—Elizabeth Kubler Ross’ five stages of grief. They say that parents often experience these stages upon learning their child is gay. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I found little truth to this theory. First and foremost, where exactly is “grief” itself in those stages? Read more - Changing One Mind
“You have to tell him how dangerous that lifestyle is. There are diseases. And drugs. If that’s his choice you know I love him no matter what; it doesn’t change anything, but that lifestyle is just very destructive.” We had finally told my husband’s little brother “Joe” that his nephew, our oldest son, is gay. As the youngest of five in a traditional, Italian Catholic family, Joe was the last to know. It was his reaction we feared the most. Read more - It's Not About the Religious Right
Prejudice is one of those clever evils. In a perverse version of “pay it forward,” prejudice infects its victims and they, in turn, begin prejudging others. GLBTI individuals, and the families who love them, are at particular risk of negatively stereotyping others, for the simple fact that they are such frequent victims of bigotry themselves. After all, survival requires knowing who might cause us or our families harm, and the reality is that people who belong to certain groups are dangerously anti-gay. Read more - Help Schools Do the Right Thing
Let’s face it. Even if we could, we’d be crazy to go back. We may complain about getting older. We may pause wistfully, recalling how easy it was “when we were just kids.” But that’s the thing about memory. Fortunately or unfortunately, it tends to blur the edges, like those soft focus lens they once used to make aging baby boomers appear passably youthful. Read more - The Man in the Mirror
“We really need to talk about this.” These words, offered to me as a cautionary note by a friend assisting me in a long and frustrating job search, are seared into my memory. Just days before, my wife, daughter, and I had testified at the State House Hearing in support of the gay marriage bill, and Charles Bakst had mentioned us in his Sunday morning column, which my friend “Paul” had read. “Rhode Island is a very Catholic state,” Paul counseled, and “people will be uncomfortable with your willingness to be open and public on these issues”. Read more - Marriage Equality Hearing Testimony
From the moment they were born, we have treated our daughter, Lauren, and our son, Greg, equally and fairly. The number of cookies at snack time and the mounds of ice cream in their bowls were always equal. As they grew, Christmas presents were counted to be sure that they were the same not only in number, but in dollar value. Coaching was double duty, shuffling from his soccer field to her softball diamond. When adolescence arrived, curfews were equally set to their respective ages. Read more
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